So there we were, minding our own business in the forest. It was kinda idyllic, you know? Peace, happiness, harmony with nature, and OH YEAH, it was extra awesome because, get this, MY MOM IS A WITCH?! Well, I guess TECHnically she is, but she’s more like a Harry Potter witch than a creepy Witch Hazel type, ‘cause bless her heart, she always uses her powers for good. Anyway, she’s the best, but this is also exactly when things went wrong.See, all of a sudden the king’s guards show up, all stuffy and businesslike, and they say they’re taking my mom to the castle, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I mean, I was totally just like, “yeah right, narcs” and I snuck my way right in, but now there’s all these enemies to defeat and items to use and pets to get, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg!

Apparently, somewhere along the way, somebody else just straight up STOLE a goblin artifact, and now THEY’RE in the castle somewhere too, and the goblins are pissed so they’ve started attacking. Lucky for me, this is a co-op game as well, so I can get a friend to help me, but MAN! Goblin artifacts? Missing parents? A thief’s agenda? I guess that’s just what happens when you’re a… SON OF A WITCH!